Origins
by Zenog's Lockbox
Summary: Dimension hopping, time travel, and thermodynamics, with just a pinch or two of gigantic fox, and a dash of plot thrown in. What could possibly go wrong? NotExactly!FemHachibi, Smarter!Naruto, AtLeastNotNice!Hiruzen, KindOfNice!Orochimaru, the number Q, and other shenanigans shall ensue! T for safety!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

* * *

I looked towards the Maelstrom Orb once again, before turning and speaking to the assembled members of Paradox that had survived the closing of the Portal. I sighed softly, before speaking to them.

"Members of Paradox! I bring grave news. As you know, with the closing of the Portal, many of the operatives of the Force have disappeared to places unknown, and with them much of the power of Imagination in the realm has diminished. As a result, Bar— The Darkitect and his forces have been gaining power.

"Three weeks ago, we lost connection with most of the Nexus System, with only communications with the Station remaining. Two weeks ago, we gained word that the second Battle of the Station had begun, before they were overrun four days ago. Their last transmission was a plea from Agent Silas for us to run away. As such, we of the Tower are the only ones left.

"I've spoken about it with the council, and we're going to have to leave. The Doctor says that he can seal off the Nexus to keep it away from the Maelstrom, but we won't be able to use Imagination anymore until we can return and bring salvation to our world. The only thing left will be the Maelstrom powers that we, as Paradox, can control. So we're going to make our own Portal."

Cries of disbelief and astonishment followed this statement, before I cut them off with a wave of my hand, and continued.

"Once through, you will all be scattered across space, dimensions, and quite possibly time. You will need to find some way to reopen a Portal from a world of Imagination to our own so that we may save it. If any of you end up in the same world, I bid you good luck, since I probably won't be with you. Now, we meet with the rest of the Force at the Nexus in five minutes so that we may leave. Now go."

I watched my people leave the room, before I turned towards the Maelstrom Orb for a final time.

"Tou-san… Why?"

* * *

Five weeks later

* * *

I trudged through the forest, hungry, tired, and hopeless. I had been traveling through this particular forest for four weeks, and that was after a grueling week escaping the desert I had shown up in. I hadn't died, not yet anyway, but an Everlasting Hot Dog and a Yo Ho Ho Mug can only keep you going for so long before you get sick of them. Finally, though, I had found a relatively well-maintained road about a day ago, and I'd been following it ever since then to find somebody to help me.

As I crested a small rise, I finally found hope again, for there before me was a city. Not very near, mind you, but I could see it nonetheless. I took off at a mad run for the city, not really realizing how far it is that I had to go… or how much the size of the village was diminished by distance.

* * *

The next day

* * *

After a day of nearly non-stop running from where I had first sighted the city, I was within about a hundred feet of the gate, before I collapsed with exhaustion. Somehow, though, I managed to pull myself off of the road to recuperate, and took stock of my current situation.

I had absolutely nothing but a torn set of clothing, my Everlasting Hot Dog and Yo Ho Ho Mug, and my two katana, and I was half-dead from exhaustion—not exactly the best prospects. Soon enough, though, somebody approached and noticed me lying alongside the road.

"Oh my! Are you okay?"

All I could do was groan in response, causing them to pick me up with a statement of, "Well, in that case, we'll need to get you some treatment." That was all I heard before I blacked out from exhaustion.

* * *

Some time later

* * *

I awoke to a sound that I hadn't heard in a very, very long time: the beeping of edical equipment. As I blearily opened my eyes, I recognized my location as a hospital, a fact that the annoying beeping only helped to cement. Also, it was one that I wanted to change as quickly as possible.

I sat up, seeing someone I hadn't seen in years sitting at the end of the bed, asleep. I blinked once, and then pinched myself, just to make sure that I wasn't dreaming.

"Kushina?"

The aforementioned redhead lifted her head suddenly, with a groggy shout of, "Huh? Wazzat? Whozzere? I wasn't asleep!"

"Kushina, is that really you?"

The redhead turned toward me, and with an expression of confusion, she studied my face, before her mouth dropped open in amazement.

"Vanda?"

To say that I was surprised was nothing if not the understatement of the century. Here I was, in a hospital bed, with the person who had practically been an older sister to me when my father disappeared sitting at the end of the bed, completely unchanged in the past ten years since I last saw her. Imagine how surprised I was when I heard her next words.

"Vanda, where have you been! You disappear for three months and expect everything to be fine when you come back? I will have you know that a gigantic demon fox appeared five weeks ago in the middle of Kaze no Kuni and has been making its way towards Konoha ever since then! We thought it was you, but then it comes along and starts destroying everything it comes across, and then you turn up outside the gates and get brought in by my husband, and the demon fox is only a day's travel away, and would you like some tea and cookies!"

"Kushina, calm down. I think that's my dad coming towards the city. I knew that the travel method I used to get back had the danger of bringing him with me, but I wasn't sure he would follow me. A lot has happened in the past ten years that I've been gone, and I'll tell you all about it just as soon as I get out of this accursed building."

A smirk appeared on Kushina's face at that moment, and she asked me, "The usual plan?"

I returned the smirk, along with a confirming reiteration of, "Yep, the usual plan."

I did a quick check to make sure that I had recovered, before creating a clone of myself next to the bed. I then pulled off a kawarami with it to escape the hold of the monitoring devices, before Kushina and I smashed out through the window, swinging up onto the roof, and then dashing away, cackling like madwomen.

* * *

Hokage's office, same time

* * *

Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato, shivered inadvertently while looking for ways to seal away the demon fox that was coming to attack his home. "I get the feeling," he voiced his thoughts aloud, "that the village will be in for a lot of trouble even once this demon is sealed…"

* * *

Top of Hokage Monument

* * *

"So… ten years, you said?"

"Yeah, about that. You know how I lost contact with my father a couple years back?"

"Yes…"

"Well, around the same time I started looking for ways to find him. I eventually found a way, accidentally destroyed the seal, and found him in a spaceship traveling the stars to find a source of unlimited power."

Kushina gave me a funny look and asked, "Spaceship?"

"Oh, sorry, you wouldn't know that one, right. So a spaceship is basically a vehicle that travels far off the ground between the stars and planets. As I was saying, though, I found my father while he was on a journey. He'd gone quite mostly somewhat insane by this point, but I stayed with him to help him in his search.

"About three years after I arrived, we found this source of unlimited power, and tou-san and his friends went down to the planet to check it out. I got left behind on the ship to wait for the adults to finish their work." I snorted a little at this statement, before continuing.

"Well, this source of unlimited energy was able to make any idea come to life, and tou-san was an idiot and made some evil creature that dragged him into the power source and corrupted it with his youkai. It blew up the ship, and I barely survived that, but afterwards dear old Dr. A closed off the power source, accidentally blowing up the planet in the process, and dispersing the evil power across the stars.

"Basically, in the seven years since then, tou-san has been the evil overlord of all things dark and evil, I co-founded a resistance movement against my father with his traveling companions from their search across the stars, and we've been fighting his evil armies ever since. It's been pretty hectic.

"Oh yeah! I also taught some people how to harness the evil energies in that universe and use them against the evil armies, and they're all out there in different universes looking for some way to turn the tides against tou-san. However, seeing as he's followed me back home, that probably won't be much of a problem anymore so long as we can stop him."

Having seen that I had completed my story, Kushina decided to speak up. "And how do you propose we do that?"

I was silent for a moment.

"Minato still good at seals?"

"Yeah…"

"Any demon containment seals?"

"He's looking right now."

"Having trouble finding one that won't kill him?"

"Yes, quite a lot. The only one he's found that could hold a demon that's this powerful is the Shiki Fuuin."

"Good. Where is he? I'm going to help him."

"The tower, as usual."

Then, in a rather sinister voice, I said, "Excellent… I shall go now," before throwing back my head in an almost—almost—demonic laugh as I sped off to the Tower.

* * *

Hokage's Office

* * *

The blond-haired Hokage looked down at his office floor from the ceiling and sighed, wondering how on earth he would seal away the demon heading for the village. Then, he heard a faint tapping sound on his window, causing him to look towards said transparent object. A person he didn't recognize dressed in ninja garb hung upside down in front of his window, waving to him and obviously requesting admittance.

Sighing, Minato opened the window, albeit on guard for any attack that might come from the unknown ninja. They stepped inside with a nod of gratitude, before immediately focusing their attention on the various seal diagrams laid out across the floor.

"Trying to figure out how to seal the Fox?" began the unknown ninja, not seeming to care that they were conversing whilst standing on the ceiling above what they were looking at.

"Yeah."

"Go-ten Tojikome Fuuin not gonna work for this, I presume?"

"No, we're talking at least a class twenty-five demonic spirit here. The Go-ten Tojikome is only rated for up to about eleven."

"I suppose that by the same merit, the Nana Shuen Tojikome also won't work?"

"No, that one's only for about class fifeen."

"Hachi Ryoumen?"

"Twenty-three."

"Sebuntin Mie Moji?"

"Only works on non-demonic entities, but it's actually rated for up to class sixty-seven."

"People will probably hate me for even suggesting this one, but have you considered the Shiki Fuuin?"

Minato sighed, nodding dejectedly. "Yes, I've considered it. It's got a practically unlimited class rating, and is virtually fail proof, but I'd die in the process of the sealing. I'm only considering it as a final option, because I'd probably have to end up using my son as the container, and I wouldn't want to leave him without a father—or even a father-figure, at least—in the world at such a young age. He'd just have Kushi-chan…"

"And even then," began the other ninja, "how do you know he'd even still have Kushina to look after him? For all you know, she might be forced to aid you in the sealing, and in the process give herself such a case of chakra exhaustion that she might die before anybody could get her medical help."

"Well you sure know how to cheer somebody up."

"Really? I thought I was being as pessimistic as—"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Well, that does make more sense. But still, you have to consider every possibility when going into battle against something like this monster."

The blond sighed, "I know, but I still can't help hoping that something completely improbable will happen and keep me from having to do this."

The two occupants of the room looked towards the door, expecting someone to burst in saying something like "the demon just randomly disappeared" or "it was all an elaborate hoax," but nothing of the sort happened.

They both sighed in synchronous mock disappointment, before turning their attention back to the seal diagrams littering the floor.

"So you've got nothing but the Shiki Fuuin to work with, do you?"

"No, I don't, and I'll have to talk with Kushi-chan about it to make sure that said worst-case scenario—"

"I could think of worse."

"—doesn't happen. You realize that saying you could think of something worse does nothing to help my nerves, right?"

"Of course. I apologize for doing it nonetheless; it's just part of my nature."

"Who are you, anyway? Why are you helping me with this?"

"Oh, right! I completely forgot about that! Vanda Are, at your service!" began the now-known ninja with a bow. She then continued, "I'm helping because—just hold with me for this—I'm an inter-dimensional traveler that's been chased through from a different world by a manifestation of all things dark and evil. It's currently taken the form of a giant evil fox that's about to destroy your village, so I considered I might as well help."

"Alright then, how do you know so much about seals if you're from a different dimension?"

"I never said that. I just said that I'm an inter-dimensional traveler, not that I'm from a different dimension. It's great to be back in Konoha again, Minato. Oh, and I know so much because I've studied them extensively for any ways to escape them, as I was sealed inside one before I managed to escape and accidentally follow my father to a different dimension."

Minato was instantly on guard from the last sentence. "So, if you were sealed before, tell me why I shouldn't seal you away again. Whoever sealed you probably had a reason to do so."

I laughed at the assumption that he could seal me again. "You really think you could? The only seal that could hold me now is the Shiki Fuuin; I know the ways out of all the rest. Anyway, your ex-jinchuriki wife was always on rather good terms with me. We were quite the friends. In exchange for the ability to use her senses, I taught her the Bijudama, the technique your paltry Rasengan is based off of. I also taught her a few other techniques, but I won't tell you about those as of yet."

"So… t-that means…"

"Yep! I'm Vanda Are, Hachibi no Kitsune, daughter of Kurama, Kyuubi no Kitsune, and Hinote, Juubi no Okami. My dad's coming to attack the village, and he really annoyed me by almost destroying in the last world we were in, so now I'm going to help seal him away so he can't cause any more trouble! Oh yeah, and I'm also going to find a way to save the world I was in last, because they have some really awesome people there."

"That… is a lot to take in. I'll just take your word for now that you won't destroy the village, there are more pressing matters at hand."

"Good! Now, I've already spoken with Kushina, and we've made a plan, a backup plan, and a contingency plan for the backup plan. We've even got a Plan D, but that involves a full-scale battle between two of the most powerful beings in existence with very little regard for any collateral damage, so let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"…Yeah, let's."

"Glad you see it my way! Now, here's the plan…"

* * *

The next day

* * *

Minato looked out to the horizon, waiting for the inevitable appearance of… Kurama, as his name apparently was. Who would've thought that one of the most destructive beings in the world was named 'dazzle,' of all things? He shook himself from his amused musings to scan for the fox again. It should be coming into sight any second now…

Minato used the final few moments of peace to review the plan. In essence, Plan A was simple: Find the fox, have Kushina hold it down, and seal it away in his son that his wife was giving birth to at the moment. The only problem was, he didn't have his wife to hold the demon down with her Chakra Chains, as she was in the hospital giving birth. Wonderful. The backup was to occupy the fox until Plan A could be executed. Plan C was in case he was unable to get the fighting away from Konoha, which was having himself just seal the fox away without Kushina repressing it. Or something to seal it into. Lovely.

And then of course there was Plan D. Plan D was a full-scale battle between Vanda and her father that would likely level Konoha anyway, an outcome that the first three plans were there to prevent.

So, in other words, don't go to Plan D.

Minato scanned the horizon again, before he saw it about ten miles off: a small, moving object that was getting steadily larger by the second. In moments, it revealed itself to be the nine-tailed fox that was going to destroy the village.

Then, the screams began.

Minato leapt into action, ignoring the panicked cries of the civilians below, instead opting to go to Plan B and attempt to move the fox away from the village. With a chakra-enhanced throw, a kunai covered in seals buried itself in the ground a few miles away. As he fell through the air, Minato used said seal to transport himself and the fox farther from the village.

* * *

Seventy-six minutes later

* * *

Minato looked up at the descending claw of the gigantic demon fox, somehow realizing that this would be the end. Then, it suddenly stopped mere inches from touching him, held back by glowing chains. (1) With Kushina available to suppress the beast and bringing their newborn son with her, Minato could execute Plan A as planned.

A flurry of handsigns later, and the Shinigami appeared in all his spectral glory to seal away the Kyuubi, just as the Kyuubi's barely restrained claw managed to pierce Kushina's torso. As soon as he appeared, the Kyuubi lost the malicious look in its eye, and began to struggle to escape. But even as he struggled, the Shinigami reached down and picked up the Kyuubi, before compressing it into a brightly glowing sphere about the size of a ping-pong ball, and stuffing it into the stomach of the newborn Naruto.

The parents looked down in joy upon their son as they collapsed, the life leaving them quicker every moment. Kushina reached out to Naruto with a wavering hand, and, in a weak voice, told him to "be strong," "don't forget to change your underwear," and "even though ramen tastes better, you still need to eat vegetables." Minato, gave a small smile, and just told Naruto, "Listen to your mom. She's usually right about this kind of stuff."

A cloaked figure dropped down from the surrounding trees, before taking off their hood to reveal Vanda. She kneeled down next to the two dying shinobi, asking them what to do with the child.

"Nobody must know," began Minato, "that your father was sealed in the boy. He needs a normal life among—" he broke off to cough out some blood "—among the children. Keep him safe from their anger if they do find out. The caves—" more coughing "—the caves are always available to live in."

"Vanda, if even one hair on my son's body gets harmed by you, directly or indirectly, or you let Jiraiya make him a pervert, I will come back haunt you so much that you'll wish you weren't a giant demon fox just so that you could exorcise me," said Kushina, with fire in her eyes. She too, coughed up some blood, before giving one last missive to Vanda. "Also, important documents in the safe in my room. You know how to open it."

And with those final words, the two great shinobi died in each other's arms.

"Don't worry," Vanda began, as she started crying, "I won't fail either of you." She then scooped up the young jinchuriki before disappearing into the night among the forest canopy.

* * *

1 - If you honestly didn't expect that, leave me a review saying so.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Two hours later, Namikaze Residence

* * *

Still cradling the baby Naruto in my arms, I made my way into his mother's room. I set down the baby on the desk, before removing the second drawer down on the right. Reaching under the desk, I held down the concealed button on the bottom of it, before waiting three seconds and pressing another concealed button in the spot the drawer was removed from. A small click was heard, and a small wooden item fell into my waiting right hand.

I examined the small box, turning it over in my hand a few times, before again pushing multiple hidden switches upon its surface. As soon as I had pressed them in the proper order, the box itself sprang open. Reaching inside, I withdrew a brass key coated in seals that seemed somehow to move across the metal of the key.

I then went to the picture on the wall of the now-deceased husband and wife, sliding it to the side on smooth tracks recessed into the wall and concealed with a genjutsu seal. This revealed a safe in the wall, which I opened with the combination I knew from my time inside Kushina's body.

Behind the door of the safe was another, slightly smaller door with a small, ornately carved keyhole in the middle. This door, too, was crawling with seals, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know that the key I had obtained from the desk went with that lock. I inserted the key and, taking a deep breath, I turned the key first a quarter turn counter-clockwise, before turning it another 450 degrees clockwise, back to where it had started.

The door glided silently open on well-oiled hinges, revealing two items within the safe: a single scroll bearing the kanji for "seal" on it, and a highly-polished crystal, about the size and shape of a goose egg.

Now, this crystal was a sight to behold. It had been formed when four separate crystals had grown together, resulting in a strange, but not at all unpleasing, swirling combination of red, blue, lavender, and yellow, scattered throughout with flecks of gold. And within its depths, the crystal seemed to hold a small spark of light; not very bright, though not at all dim, either. I knew it to be a wedding gift from Minato's young students that they had somehow obtained without his knowledge during a diplomatic mission to Iwa during the early stages of the war. An attempt to form a peace treaty before things got out of hand, if I recalled correctly.

Of course, with the full outbreak of war, the wedding was postponed. As the war ran its course, Obito was crushed under a bridge, and Rin was kidnapped and almost killed by a man out for revenge against the Hatake family shortly thereafter.

Obito, of course, died, although not before gifting both Kakashi and Rin each with one of his Sharingan eyes, telling them through intermittent coughs of blood, "Go out there and see the world, guys! This way, I'll still get to see the things I wanted to with my best friends and comrades instead of as a disembodied voice!"

After he died, he was brought back to Konoha, and interred in the Cemetery of Heroes, the place where all ninja killed in service to the village are buried, if their bodies are recovered. Unsurprisingly, since most bodies don't make it back, the cemetery is very small, with a memorial stone at the entrance for all of those whose bodies could not be retrieved.

Rin, although mentally traumatized by her ordeal, and unable to forget it due to her newly-implanted Sharingan, left her kidnapping experience relatively unharmed otherwise. Later, she entered therapy to help herself cope with it. For all I knew, she could still be in therapy with Inoichi. However, that was unlikely, as he was an extremely good psychiatrist as well as a high-level jounin, and she'd already been having therapy sessions once every two months for almost a year and a half before I had disappeared for three months.

Kakashi, on the other hand, landed himself in the hospital in a full body cast with severe chakra exhaustion for the better part of three months as a result of the combined strain of both attempts to save his teammates and the implantation of Obito's eye.

The bottom line was that, even though the three of them couldn't all make it, they still had an amazing gift for their sensei when he finally did have his wedding, and it doubled as a congratulatory gift for Minato becoming Hokage. I sighed wistfully; those were the days.

My reminiscing over, I pocketed the scroll and gem, and then disappeared from the room with Naruto in my arms again.

* * *

Five years later

* * *

"See, nee-chan? I told you I could do it!"

I slowly gazed up into the branches of the tree and saw Naruto hanging by the soles of his feet from the underside of the lowest branch. "Meh, it's pretty good, Naruto, but that's only the first branch. You didn't climb the whole tree yet."

"But nee-chan…" came the whining reply.

I quickly scaled the tree in the same fashion that Naruto had, perching myself lightly on the crown of the tree. "No 'buts,' Naruto," I called down. "I want you to be able to climb all the way up here using just your feet in under a minute by the end of the week—" I chuckled evilly to myself "—or no Ichiraku for a week!"

"What! It's already Saturday!" Naruto shouted up at me.

"Well, you'd better hurry up then if you don't want your ramen taken away!"

I jumped down out of the tree and landed softly at the base, before leaning back against the tree to take a nap. I woke up a couple hours later, at about a quarter to six. 'Just enough time to prepare dinner… well, if I cheat a little.'

I looked up into the tree and saw a near-exhausted Naruto about two thirds of the way up the tree, stopped on a branch to catch his breath.

"Oi! Naruto! You've only got six hours left to be able to make it to the top in less than a minute before your ramen privileges are suspended!"

I turned towards the house, and stepped inside to see myself just finishing cooking dinner. I looked at myself and said, "Well, it seems that I did what I thought I was going to do."

"Funny thing," the other me replied, "I said the same thing an hour ago… well, just now… never mind, you get the idea."

I chuckled at my antics, before gathering my chakra around me and forcing myself back in time by an hour.


End file.
